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nishaapologist · 4 years ago

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a skyscraper is a bit like a vault, but it goes up instead of down (Fallout 4, Sarah Lyons/NBi!LW, First Sentinel AU)

it's been a while since my last lil fic, but the idea of rookie up a skyscraper jumped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone. whilst i don't think rookie has agoraphobia from their vault years, they definitely think heights are just a little terrifying. what can they say? they're a mole person by nature.

(Sarah's pronouns are she/her, Rookie's pronouns are they/them)

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Rookie's laughter is infectious, and easily earned, but for the past two hours it's been decidedly nervous in a way that's taken on a broadly hysterical vibe every time they so much as glance outside to see the looming shape of Boston below.

In Sarah's defence, she had warned them that this particular mission had heights involved.

To be perfectly honest, climbing up the precariously decayed skyscrapers that litter downtown isn't exactly her favourite thing to do either, but it's that terrifying dilapidation that means even the most intrepid scavengers haven't dared to ascend the heights themselves, leaving the stuff that's survived within mostly untouched by anything but time for over two-hundred years. The rarities that lie in wait are highly sought after by the right people, some items verging on priceless, and as such are often only just worth the risk inherent to get them back to ground level in the first place. Of course, the downside is that since Sarah's found herself in the thick of the Commonwealth's latest bout of faction drama, she's the one often called upon to find said things in the first place, and she's been running up and down so many sets of stairs that her calves are in better shape than they've ever been.

Rookie had insisted they come with for this particular expedition. Insisted.

"You doing okay back there?" Sarah calls, very pointedly trying not to look down. They'd just opened a door directly into open air - shunted from a relatively intact interior into a room where half of it now lies in the rubble below - giving them a prime view of the Commonwealth alongside a dizzying drop below, and Rookie's laughter had kicked itself up another notch into a tone Sarah would categorise as unstable. "Or do you wanna wait inside?"

"So the floor can give way underneath me?!" Rookie shouts back, entirely too loud even against the whistle of the wind. "No thanks! Just- just lead the way. I'm right behind you."

The stairwell upwards is marked by another closed door, set into the remains of the wall to Sarah's right, but the only real surface Sarah would be hard-pressed to call a floor is clinging to the barest edges of the room, the speckled tiles all slanted downwards and begging to dislodge under her feet. So, Sarah presses herself back, looking around for something to hold onto and finding a dangling cable overhead, slipping free of what could feasibly be described as a ceiling if one had a very generous description of what a ceiling actually constituted. Whatever. She reaches up, gets a good hold on it, and then starts shuffling along, inch by painstaking itch.

"Must be nice, being six-foot-dipshit," Rookie says with a painfully enforced cheer, as their only place to hold onto is Sarah's free hand, gripped painfully tight. It's... not ideal, because if they slip, Sarah stands very little chance of saving both of them from plummeting below if she gets dragged down too. "Jesus, Sarah. This had better be worth it."

Sarah hopes the same. Running around finding tech for the faction that betrayed her, and one that she fully intends to bring to its knees, isn't exactly her idea of a good time, but the Brotherhood are surprisingly lenient about letting some mysterious wastelander with a phobia of showing her face to people run around freely so long as she does as she's told, which Sarah is exploiting mercilessly. She obeys her orders (within reason), she does their stupid busywork (slightly less within reason), and she climbs up buildings that sway in the wind to find some dumb gizmo that's been shoved in a desk since before the bombs dropped (which isn't reasonable at all). At least back in her day it was busywork that came packaged with actual work, like killing super mutants or helping out a settlement against raiders, but no such luck here.

Not that it matters. So long as she hands in tech and find technical documents and clears out ghouls and whatever the shit, they don't care who she is, and that's just perfect.

"C'mon," she murmurs, lost almost entirely to the wind. "You got this."

It feels like it takes hours - the floor creaks and Rookie yelps at the sound, and more than once, a tile slips free and goes sailing downwards, the sound of it smashing against the ground below taking too many seconds to reach them to be comfortable. Rookie's looking unhealthily pale, and they swallow thickly, fix their eyes to a point on the horizon, and keep moving.

"Guess there weren't a lot of heights in DC to be afraid of, right?" Sarah says lightly, because this is the exact kind of situation to make jokes in, in her experience. "We took all that flatness for granted."

"I'm from a hole in the ground," Rookie hisses between locked teeth. "Ground level is already, like, a lot for me. Nobody should ever need to be this high up. Christ."

Well, Sarah can't argue with that one. Sure, maybe they needed all these floors for when the population wasn't restricted to the thousands at best, but even then... she eyes up the distant spires of the neighbouring high-rises and, well, part of her is pretty convinced it boiled down to a dick-measuring contest unlike any other. "Think of it like a cliff. A really, really tall cliff. Besides, this place has been standing this here long, right? What makes us two so likely to make it fall over n-"

As if on her cue, there's a low, long groan that reverberates all around, and Sarah swears she feels the building tilt behind her, Rookie now making swift progress from laughter to hyperventilation. Above, something clangs and bangs, which precedes an old filing cabinet falling from a higher floor, making Rookie jump as it tumbles past in a blur.

One Nuka Quantum, Sarah thinks to herself the split-second it's out of sight. Two Nuka Quantum, three Nuka Quantum, four-

The clatter from below echoes for miles, metal crunching like a tin can underfoot, and Sarah can only imagine how it must've compacted on impact. She tries not to. "Okay. Alright. Just... keep on moving."

Rookie nods once, their mouth clamped shut and their every breath accompanied by a wheeze, and their hand is now disgustingly sweaty against Sarah's palm. Or maybe that's her sweat. Probably both.

Inch by inch, Sarah gets closer to the door, hoping beyond hope that there isn't just a sheer drop beyond it where the stairs used to be, and as soon as she hits the corner and shuffles gingerly around to bring it just within touching distance, she untangles her hand from the cable above. Now, if either of them fall, they're both absolutely fucking screwed, and she once again choose not to think about it. Instead, she reaches over, grasping for the inch-wide opening down the middle, and in the same instant she manages to wrench the door halfway open, she drags herself and Rookie towards it with all the force she can muster, both of them tumbling through into a dark stairwell. So dark, in fact, that it takes Sarah a second to realise she didn't just shut her eyes in preparation for the freefall that might've been laying in wait. There's absolutely no natural light in the stairwell, given there's no windows, no lights, and absolutely no missing walls. It takes second for Sarah to realise that's a good thing.

"Jesus!" Rookie shouts, and unlike the awful endless echo is outside, this bounces right off the four solid walls like a blessing. "Fucking hell, if we survive this, you can tell those Scribe dipshits to get absolutely stuffed! Are you fucking kidding me with this?"

Sarah doesn't contest any of that, given she's absolutely inclined to agree. She bends down, hands on her knees, and takes in a few breaths of dusty, stifled air. Another blessing that sure doesn't feel like one. "Alright. Alright. We're good." Then, she stands up, and casts her gaze towards the mesmerising swirl of the twisting stairs above, leading up to the higher reaches of this skyscraper. "Just another, like, ten floors to go."

Rookie blinks, looks up also, and then gives Sarah a deceptively innocent stare. "On second thoughts," they say mildly, "you can go get stuffed first."

Yeah, Sarah thinks. She'd have said the same.

#fallout #fallout 4 #sarah lyons #lone wanderer #rookie reeves #my writing #rookie on the 20th floor: HUBRIS HUBRIS HUBRIS HUBRIS AAAAAA

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catloud · 5 years ago

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Greta Gerwig is The Best One

I grew up loving, living and breathing two films: Little Women, with a wild and passionate Winona Ryder, and Emma Thompson’s Sense and Sensibility. The middle of three sisters, I saw our dynamic as a trio in both of them. We cast ourselves as these women, making our own Pickwick Papers and putting on plays in the garden, just like our beloved March sisters. My own teenage solitude revolved around moody walks in the hills near my house on a Scottish island, calling Willoughby’s name in the rain, usually to the soundtrack of Greenday or Alanis Morisette or Damien Rice. These were the raw materials I had to craft my identity with. Sisters. Sisterhood. Love. Passion. Power. Freedom.

And, just as I was conditioned to pick a favourite Spice Girl or colour of Starburst, I immediately made Jo and Marianne my respective LW and S&S favourites. But Jo is something special. She is, after all, the patron saint of all aspiring writers and country bumpkins who move to the city for adventure. I feel that.

I know there’s something about Jo. Why did I make her The Best One?

What about Meg? Lovely Meg! Naturally maternal and equal parts severe, sensible and sweet, she gracefully bears the burdens of societal pressure and familial responsibility as the pioneering eldest child, while also taking responsibility for wrangling her more wayward sisters. She is a Mini Marmee, and lord knows we all love Marmee.

Or gentle Beth, wistful and musical, always striving to keep the peace between more the more overwhelming personalities within the household, and trying to make the world a better place for those less fortunate in times of extreme uncertainty. She loves everyone and everyone loves her.

Or Amy? Artistic and refined Amy, who matches Jo in talent and strength of will but is a thousand times more socially savvy. She makes the rules of the world (for women like her) work as she intuitively knows how to wield and tame them, while Jo fights them kicking and screaming all the way.

The March sisters are timeless because they pose a question that has refused to leave me alone – what am I supposed to want? Jo is our natural Girl Power era heroine. She is all of the great feminist moments in one person. She’s Jane Fonda getting arrested at a protest. She’s telling a mansplainer to shut the fuck up. She’s not taking “because you’re a woman” for an answer, ever.

She’s wild and proud, recklessly emotional and deeply ambitious. And there it is. Ambition. The most masculine of fatal flaws that is at first admirable before it devours everything in its path, stopping at nothing till the whole world has been swallowed and spat out again.

We can’t all be Jos. Stoking and sustaining that level of craving and chasing is absolutely exhausting. And when what you want comes to you, and comes crashing down again because nothing is forever, then you’ll see the holes left behind. Creative projects and the pursuit of the next thing can be Polyfilla for the gaping, untreated hole left by perpetual loneliness. No one wants to look into its mouth for long, and so the great cycle begins again.

And I think about this now, because Hollywood’s Remake Olympics feels necessary this time. I need to see Jo again.

I find myself thirty, solo and skint. I have yet to find a like-minded soul who is more Alcott’s Laurie and less Austen’s Willoughby, and I’ve spent most of my twenties pursuing a career that I have loved but I’m convinced hasn’t loved me. I’ve hunted opportunities, scraped by when cash was tight with a knot in my stomach and instead of chasing something brilliant and wonderful, I have been obsessed with not failing. Failing isn’t an option. I don’t know what else to be instead.

Why was my hometown not enough?

Why did I have to want more?

These questions are Greta Gerwig’s territory, an artist who has made herself very much at home with stories about women at crossroads who sense good things on the horizon, but struggle to get their bearings. She is an artist I watch with so much strange pride, horrified that so few women are staking claims and taking names in a director’s chair and yet, there she is. There she has been, for years.

As a writer and as a performer, Gerwig understands how painful it is to be in a perpetual state of becoming. Frances Ha - the 2012 film she starred in and co-wrote with director Noah Baumbach - is a masterpiece. I resisted watching it for years, because I was scared of seeing myself in it. I was right, but I didn’t need to be scared. It’s filled with the same mundane intimacy in Little Women - girls sitting in bed together, making plans for a big, varied, wild life. Gerwig and Alcott write love stories about wanting to love life and have life love you back. Her eponymous character is the earnest, awkward and mis-stepping heart of a film that scrambles up the crushing economic realities of modern life with whimsical and chic French New Wave aesthetics, adding glimmers of Fame and Footloose for fun. “Scrambling” is the most appropriate adjective for her. A precariously-employed dancer, she tells successful and self-assured best friend Sophie in the film’s deeply intimate opening montage “I tried to make a frittata and it’s really more of a scramble”. And we all know you can’t make an omelette without cracking eggs. They feature again in her Oscar-nominated and Golden Globe-winning Lady Bird. Arguing with her mother, Saorise Ronan’s Christine/ Lady Bird asks why she can’t cook breakfast, to which the excellent Laurie Metcalf replies “Because you take too long and make a big mess and I have to clean the whole thing up.” Eggs. Metaphors for messy lives, and a nod to the mothers we came from. The mothers! They’re poets and they don’t even realise. I love Gerwig and Alcott’s big-hearted mothers, so afraid for wayward daughters who want more than they can provide and say things like “I didn’t raise you like this!” when they act up. When we act up. I know you didn’t, and I’m sorry.

At the helm of Lady Bird, Gerwig is even more masterful at painting sisterhood and choices with a bold intensity, coloured with vivid metaphorical visuals. Juxtaposing the joy of a first kiss with a hushed conversation about tight finances gives economic hardship and anxiety the same weight in the drama as romantic entanglements. Lady Bird’s mother is often visibly crushed by her daughter’s ungrateful and embarrassed recognition that they aren’t wealthy, and “wrong side of the tracks” cliches are shown to be careless, throw away words for painful and inescapable realities. Gerwig crafts anxious and relatable narratives around being economically downtrodden and feeling less sure-footed in the face of those who have hit certain milestones. Her work is peppered with the many little audacious deceptions we pull off that conceal deep-rooted despair; the greater truths can be reached when we take sex out of the equation, or throw it in; the sorrow of being left behind. But she always gives us joy, too. Writing the names of boys we love on the wall and painting over them when don’t anymore. Going to view houses, trying on other lives for fun, because it’s wonderful and poignant to deliberately get lost in the woods to simply feel every now and then.

She makes me nostalgic for that particular sweet spot in my adolescence. There is so much I hated about being a teenager, but I was restless and hungry and I miss that person. I still want to believe that the world is full and vibrant, and that I deserve a slice of it nut sometimes I fear that I will never feel brave or excited again. But Gerwig is familiar with this feeling and Little Women, in essence, explores all of these fears. Her films show women living their lives differently and overcoming the battles that ensue, and this makes her the perfect wrangler for the March sisters, each with their own diverging life paths but all of them equally valid.

Of course, to call it an exploration of modern feminism isn’t wholly true. Feminism that isn’t intersectional isn’t feminism and Little Women as a historical piece is incredibly white and heteronormative. But, there are lessons to be learned about what being a woman today looks like. It takes guts to be a mother and raise children, or to pursue the life you desire even if it takes you thousands of miles from what you know and who you love. She understands that choosing a creative career - and continuing to choose it in the face of all its difficulties – is to peer into the lion’s mouth. Her films have a simmering undercurrent that points a finger directly at the harsh reality and unspoken acceptance that art is for the rich, and the pursuit of culture indicates a sense of superiority or reaching above station. And it will always take courage to break free from expectations, even if those expectations come from the people you love most.

I refuse to pick a favourite this time.

Meg March is coming home.

Beth March is your favourite album on vinyl.

Amy March is playing poker, and winning.

And Jo? Jo March is every foolish text and all sparkling, heartfelt conversations.

If I have to pick My Best One, it’s Gerwig herself. She is a storyteller who handles life’s tiny disappointments and triumphs like precious ornaments. She is a master of making mountains out of moments, of carefully handling stories that give women space to live untidily and brilliantly, of big and small rituals we do to root the person we’re becoming to the person we used to be, and to the people, places and things we’ve loved, always.

I feel safe in her hands. I couldn’t trust my March sisters to anyone less worthy, and I can’t wait to see these women I love through her imaginative, sensitive and determined eyes.

#Greta Gerwig #Little Women #Jane Austen #Jo March #filmmaking #sisterhood #feminism #film #nostalgia

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lunaathorne · 5 years ago

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As a fellow Amy March fan, I'm curious what your opinion on Jo is? Her and Amy's relationship? I do like Jo but personally I think she gave at least as good as she got with Amy (who was 3 years younger anyway)

Hmmm. Jo has always been the one sister about whom I've had severely polarising opinions through the years. Little Women was pretty much the first English book I ever read and since then Amy has always been my favourite while Jo, despite our mutual love for books and dislike for overtly sentimental issues, has always been a grey zone for me. I love her as a character and kinda hate the reception and portrayal of her in media and by fans. Obviously, it's only in very recent times that I've come to appreciate her for her complexities and nuances. She's a well written character, but also a flawed one (as the best characters are always.)

Carrying over from my Amy post, where I spoke of how much I related to Amy as the baby sister of my family, I could see Jo in my older sister. Fiercely brilliant, very loyal, completely no-nonsense about issues in life and love and often coming off as terse or brash. I quite loved her and I also loved her and Amy's dynamic. It's a well-written sibling relationship that's neither completely saccharine nor murderous fratricide. I also liked her friendship with Laurie (although never shipped them romantically).

The reason I began feeling meh about her was really some Jo March fans who always sought to single her out from the rest of her "inferior", "girly girl" sisters with their "homely ambitions". I have spoken about this internalised misogyny before, I'll not elaborate here but it quite spoiled the experience of reading her POV for me, which is funny because Louisa Alcott CLEARLY didn't want to glorify the "not-like-other-girls" thing that Jo does display in flashes in book 1. However, because Jo's fate comes off as less glamorous and less satisfying than fans would've liked, they make her the martyr of bad writing and the One Wronged Woman of Good Wives who Was Obviously Better Than Her Sisters Because She was Not Like Other Girls.

It's easy to point out Jo's great qualities but she has an equal number of flaws that stan Twitter and Tumblr ignore. Assuredly her defiance of suffocating social norms was great but in turn they make her a tool to demonise or simplify Amy and Meg. Her quotes are empowering, theirs are sentimental period drama nonsense. The 1994 film was an offering at the altar of Jo March, with practically every other character reduced to bland one-dimensional roles.

This is not right. Amy and Meg are not to be held accountable for everything Jo does. It's not Amy's fault that she is well mannered around adults and is offered the Europe trip by Aunt March. Jo is reckless with her opportunities, speaks rudely and obviously loses her chance. She often antagonizes Amy whenever she can (especially in the early Good Wives chapters). She is quite juvenile initially about the way she treats Brooke and Meg's relationship. People just forget this. Because she is the quirky heroine archetype for them. In doing so they oversimplify her. Just as Game of Thrones oversimplified Show Arya, who said stuff like "most girls are stupid" where her book counterpart would NEVER. Jo loved and admired all her sisters. She was actually in awe of Meg and Amy's grace and classy attitudes. She was wholeheartedly happy for them when they got married and found happiness. And she loved Laurie but didn't care for him as more than a brother (again, when will people understand it was HER choice to reject him) and yes THEY WOULDN'T BE COMPATIBLE. Sorry but that's the truth.

The thing is- a) since Jo kind of takes up centre space in the latter half of book 1 and 2, she plays a pivotal role in how the audience sees her world. As a result many people are biased to like and dislike what she does. b) many compare her to Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, which is ridiculous because that was a social satire novel where the other sisters where clearly objects of ridicule (except Jane) and the story was centred on love and marriage much more than sisterly bonds, whereas LW is based off Alcott's own sisters and is a much more sombre and reflective tale, heavy in nostalgia with its focus on all 4 sisters. Elizabeth is also much more poised and mature than Jo, who is only 15 when the story starts. I went on this tangent to show that much of Jo's character is fundamentally misread and misinterpreted by many.

I love Jo and Amy's relationship the most out of all the familial relationships in Little Women. We never actually got a proper bonding scene between Beth and Jo to appreciate their love for each other before Beth became ill. Meg and Jo almost always have Marmee as a third person moderator in their conversations. But Amy and Jo are real, actual siblings with a raw, honest bond. They are the two primary March girls in Good Wives. They work as foils and parallels to each other. They both are somewhat self conscious about their perceived "lack of beauty" (Jo after her haircut and Amy's nose), are both creative and ambitious, brilliant verbal sparrers, quick to notice and deduce, their stories are quite intertwined. And people just reduce them to ships.

So in conclusion, I do find her an interesting, very human character. However I am unable to relate to her and a majority of her stans piss me off a LOT, therefore I do not emotionally connect to her as I do with Amy.

I have other thoughts too (about her New York storyline and Bhaer and her dreams) but then we'd be here all year 😅😅.

#answered ask #good wives #little women #spookysylphinthehauntedforest #not sure if i should tag this as j* m*rch because her fans are Really Mad

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darkloverlost · 6 years ago

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TURMOIL w/@Rogue_Vishous

Wrath:

Nothing had been right since that female showed up at the Audience House. I hadn’t been able to focus on anything and it was pissing me the fuck off. I had gotten to the point where I was sparring every spare moment. I had attempted to spar with Z, but V put a halt to that. So, here I was going fist to fist with him, instead. I was hitting harder than ever before, but I was so screwed up in the head, I barely connected with anything and V was getting the better of me. “Fuck!” I spat, stepping aside for a minute, after V clocked me good.

I needed to get my head in the game. I had been messing up at work, too. The other night I had screamed at a few citizens that couldn’t solve their own problems. Sometimes I felt as though I was just some referee for the race. Can’t resolve an issue amongst yourselves, bring it to the King, even if it is about a stupid chair. A chair. Yes, that’s right. This family lost their grandsire, and he had this chair… anyway, it doesn’t really matter. It was the most asinine thing I had ever heard. They had all deserved a good tongue lashing.

Vishous: *While sparring with the King, I started to think he wasn’t even trying. I was waitingfor him to give me everything he had and Nothing I wasn’t even breaking a sweat. * What is going on Wrath are you even trying? *I ask as he stepped aside. You’ve got to let me know what is going through your mind. After that female left the Audience House you haven’t been the same since.

Your yelling at the brothers the citizens even LW has noticed. Your needing to take a break from the Audience House. We all cannot go on like this true? * Something is going on even before that female came along I knew he was just going through the paces. I hate to even think this but our King is losing his mind.*

Wrath:

“Seriously? LW?” I questioned as I began to pace the mats. This had gotten worse than I thought. The Brothers could handle my mood. I had been pretty much a brute about things around the homestead ever since Beth and gone unto The Fade. They were used to it. The Audience House I had wanted to take some time away from for a while, anyway. I was overdue. But, LW… that was a totally different beast. For him to notice a change… I had really fucked up. Par for the course, at this point, though. I couldn’t seem to keep my head out of my ass, as of late, and this female showing up didn’t help. It’s been ten years and I’ve had not one inkling of a feeling towards any female. Not even any of the Chosen that come to force me to feed from them, when I get too weak. Not once have I had any kind of a stirring from below the belt… unless I’m having a dream about my belated Queen. But, this female that came by the Audience House had definitely caused a stirring and it made me feel guilty as hell, and unfaithful, and so fucking wrong. It was as if I had cheated on Beth and I hadn’t even gotten close to the female. I even threw her out. That hadn’t seemed to matter, though. She had barely left my thoughts since. I had heard her voice in my dreams. I wasn’t about to admit that to V, though. “I’m fine, V. It’s nothing. Same shit, different day is all. Let’s close down the Audience House for two weeks. Shift things around. Bring in Saxton, if needed, to discuss with me any urgent matters. Got it?”

Vishous: Yes LW. You know he can talk now right? He’s come to me not long ago asking why Dad is so angry *I know there are other things going on in his head, He’s like a fucking valut keeps it locked up tight. Ever since Beth went unto the Fade he has been bitchy like a female but worse than before since that night at the Audience House.* So are we going to talk about that female? Why you were so short with her . Why her?. And Saxton can take care of all the shit being sent in. *I walk back to the middle and tell Wrath to work a little harder at trying to take me down. I know he can’t his head is all mixed up Maybe I can knock a little sense back into him.* @DarkLoverLost

Wrath:

A growl threatens, “Fuck you, V. I know my son can talk.” He’s coming dangerously close to pissing me off even more. It’s as if he’s taunting me. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll make more of an effort around him.” I conceded, although I wasn’t sure how much more of an effort I could make. I had thought I had been doing okay at home. Then again, there were days when I just didn’t care. Depression had been a death sentence for me. Most days, I got through due to LW. Some days though, even he couldn’t get me from evening to morning. On those days, I tried to stay away… from everyone. I knew I wasn’t any fun to be around on a normal day. Those days, I just wanted to cut a bitch, and I was always afraid I might.

Turning towards V’s voice, I bent forward and bolted at him, slamming him to the ground on his back. “I’m not talking about her, man. It was nothing. I was done for the day, that’s all.” I hadn’t realized that by acknowledging his comment, that I was letting him know, that I knew exactly who he was talking about, which in essence gave away the truth, that she had gotten under my skin. “Like I’ve been saying, I’ve needed a break from that place for a while. I had just had enough.” Why did he need to keep bringing her up. Like I needed any kind of reminder. The female dominated my thoughts. I had gotten to the point where I had pretty much spent the past three days drinking myself to bed, in hopes that the alcohol would erase her. No such fucking luck. It just gave me more bizarre dreams about her and massive hangovers in the evening.

Vishous: *i knew I was in the wrong bring up LW bit something had to get through to him and I knew that female had messed up his head. Seeing him act that way. The only time I’ve ever seen him go bazaar on another male like he has toward me was his Shellen. I seen his body tense up after being up that female at the house and him slamming me to the ground that was the last straw.* ok, that’s not sparing brother. You need to get your fucking head straight and if it has to do with LW or that damn female. Do something then else then drinking your damn black or taking it out on your brotherhood. *I rip all my sparring gear off throw it on the floor stand there glaring at him with my arms crossed waiting for a response on what I said. And I couldn’t take the silence* I know you know your son can talk now you need to listen to him. To all of us. We all miss Beth because she was the only one that can talk damn sense in your thick skull. Now you need to listen to your own blood brother. We are all here. *tapping my temple even tho I know he can’t see* I still see things in my mind brother. @DarkLoverLost

Wrath:

I could hear V tearing his gear off and making a scene. He should know by now that kicking up the drama wasn’t going to get him anywhere with me, aside from pissing me right the fuck off. “No, you listen up! My son and that female are off fucking limits! I’m not talking to you about either one of them, right now.” It riled me up even more that he thought he could get into my head with all this shit. “It’s been ten years since Beth went unto The Fade. I’m sick and tired of all my Brothers thinking they can throw a switch and I’m all of a sudden going to be fine. It don’t work like that, V. A male’s gotta go through what a male’s gotta go through, and for me that means raising a young all on my own, ruling a whole race…” Growling out the next part, I continued, “oh yeah, and mourning the loss of my mate!” I hadn’t even realized I had been tearing a track in the mats from all my pacing. “I would hate to see the day that you lose your mate, my Brother. Maybe, then I’ll take some advice on the subject from you. Until that day, stop pushing me to get past it. I’ll get there when I get there.”

This whole thing was getting old. The depression sucked ass, the guilt of feeling less than a father to my son was unbearable, the stress of having to rule the race under all these conditions was breaking me, the Brothers thinking I was going to just snap out of it all had me ready to fucking snap in all the wrong ways, and now I had this fucking female that was taking over all my waking thoughts. Talk about fucking guilt! Which reminded me… “And stay out of my head, V!”

Vishous: *I wouldn’t know what it’s like with losing my Shellen. I came close once. I wouldn’t want that pain. My Leelan is my world just like my brothers. I know he is in pain but, the race needs home and his son if this female is the cause of his craziness he’s got to stay clear of her.* I’ll hand her problems you need to go back to the audience house and go down to Darius rooms and get away Sire take LW with you if need be. I’ll get with #Saxton and take care of things. *I don’t know if this will help. But I think I may need to talk to that female and keep her away.*I know your in pain and I don’t know how I would feel if I lost my Shellen, I don’t know your pain but I did come close to losing her if you remember. I can’t stay out of your head your screaming. @DarkLoverLost

Wrath: Shaking my head, I respond, “If I’m taking some time away from the Audience House, it’s not going to be in its basement.” Thinking for a minute, I come up with a better plan. Well, maybe not really so much of a great plan, but one that a little more palatable than hanging out downstairs, in the Audience House, the one place I am trying to avoid. “I can hang out here, at the manse. I’ll take LW on a couple of excursions to… “ I began to think about it. Where was I going to take him to? Downtown Caldwell? In the middle of the night? Not! I could take him out to dinner, but how much fun was a young going to have at a restaurant that didn’t have an arcade in it? “I’ll think of something. But, I’m not going to spend my time off in the basement of the building I’m avoiding.”

I begin to shrug off my training gear and kick it off to the side. “Do what you have to with Saxton. I need this time off, now. Not in a couple of weeks. If I have to sit through one more dispute over… what was it? A gaggle(?) of chickens, or whatever they called it… I just might throw my desk at someone.” Pushing my wraparounds up far enough to rub my eyes, I continue, “Make it happen, would ya?”

As I begin to walk away, I reach out and pat V once on the shoulder. “Thanks, man.” I’m not the apologetic type, so I don’t apologize for flattening him on the mat or yelling at him earlier, but V knows I appreciate what he does.

Vishous: *Listening to what Wrath says I know what I can and can’t say enough to piss him off to get done what needs to be done, And him getting away needs to be done. I see something coming and I don’t want to stop it.* Yeah, I got Saxton, I know what I need to do Sire. *All I can do is nod when he says Thanks to me.* The next time you want to kick someones ass, call Hollywood. *I call behind him as he walks out. Our race is going to flourish again. I know it’s coming I can see it.*

#Turmoil #EternallyBoundRPG

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switchedatbirthspoilers · 8 years ago

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'Switched at Birth' Creator on Series Finale "Controversy," Scrapped Ending

Lizzy Weiss talks to THR about the all those surprise twists, that last scene and a potential revival.

Switched at Birth ended its five-season run on Tuesday with an eventful 90-minute farewell.

The final episode of the Peabody-winning family drama ended things by looking back at how the series started. The series contained several flashbacks to when the Kennish and Vasquez families – well, almost everyone – found out that Bay (Vanessa Marano) and Daphne (Katie Leclerc) had been switched at birth. At first, it was because Katherine (Lea Thompson) was feeling nostalgic about Regina (Constance Marie) deciding to move out of the guest house. Then, it was because Katherine learned John (D.W. Moffett) had known about the switch before she did – a fight that escalated and de-escalated quickly.

Meanwhile, Daphne stood up to a discriminatory sports surgeon who said she couldn't be a surgeon and be deaf. (And she reunited with Mingo). And despite Travis (Ryan Lane) moving to Japan to pursue a career in baseball, he and Bay decided to continue their relationship long-distance – permanently squashing any chance of her getting back together with Emmett (Sean Berdy).

Regina also figured out her romantic future. In exchange for making Will turn himself in, she offered to raise his son and wait until he got out of prison so they could start their life together in Kansas City. And finally, Toby (Lucas Grabeel) decided to ditch his unfulfilling DJ gigs to some sort of job helping those with disabilities.

After an extended break between seasons four and five – during which time ABC Family became Freeform – and a shortened final season, the final episode was largely one of resolutions rather than cliffhangers.

The Hollywood Reporter spoke with Lizzy Weiss about those finale twists and turns, the scrapped ending viewers didn't see and the possibility of a revival down the road.

The Hollywood Reporter | You mentioned there was a tag you shot at the end of season four that could have served as a series finale. Can you talk a little bit about what it was and why you decided not to use it?

Lizzy Weiss | It would have felt like a double ending. I feel like the emotion of the ending with the big wide aerial shot pulling back on the family and that song… the emotions sort of carried you and then once we tried putting the tag on it, it stopped the emotions. And plus, it was a flashback to the hospital with the girls as newborns and we cast 22-year-old actresses to play young Katherine and young Regina, and it felt like a disappointment to not end on the people that the fans have spent five years with. I hope the network does release it for the fans just in a tweet or a YouTube link because it was cool but it was something that we didn’t end up using.

THR | Another big revelation was that John found out about the switch before Katherine. Had that always been apart of the story for you? How did this twist come about?

LW | To be totally honest, no. When I pitched the show, I was very clear that I planned out that Regina knew and all of the reasons why, and when she found out when Daphne was three, and that she kept it secret so that was kind of baked into the first season. In preparing for the series finale, we watched the pilot again, and we zoned in on that scene in the geneticist's office where Bay and Katherine looked crushed and stunned and as if their worlds have just fallen apart. It was honestly just a choice that D.W. made for John to be the stoic father, but we just zoomed in and thought, 'Gosh, it almost looks like he's not surprised.' So just in the fun of the room, we spun off that: We can't mess with the mythology of Regina. We can't undo the whole show in one last episode, but what if hew knew a week before or two weeks before?

The real intention of the John-Katherine story no matter what story we told, I knew that the end result would be we are re-validating them as the heart and the center of the show in terms of the family, the strength, that is the Kennish home. So we needed to shake them a little and then remind everyone they will keep getting through whatever is thrown at them. it just seemed fun to have.

THR | Another big moment in the finale was Daphne having to deal with the blatant discrimination of Dr. Bannon and her subsequent decision to stand up to him. Why in the final episode did you want to give her this obstacle for her?

LW | We definitely had had a couple run-ins with the face of authority who had questioned her. I felt like we really need to raise the stakes if we're going to bring this up again. We’re going to have to do it with someone who's a lot more blunt about it, and she hasn’t encountered that kind of resistance that much. These kind of doctors are out there, and this kind of arrogance. I always like to raise good questions and these are fair, realistic questions: How exactly would you be a surgeon? How would it work? Though he does it in a very gruff, ignorant way, he's asking questions that she's got to answer. Well, with technology, well, with an interpreter, well, with a little bit of help – and we researched, there are all of these tools. That's part of the message of this show, is that sometimes you do have to make accommodations, you may have to slow down, you may have to use your phone to text, you may have to learn a few signs, you may have to do things a little differently and that's OK in this world. We don't have to make the mainstream world the only way to communicate or live or have jobs. I just liked raising that one last time in a really big, potent, loud way.

I have a friend of a friend who was a doctor and got into a bike accident and became paraplegic and he's still a doctor. You figure it out, it doesn't mean it's easy. That's always been the message of the show: The world needs to bend a little bit and get with the program but not everyone's the same and that's OK.

THR | That also kind of relates to Toby's decision to change careers at the end. How did you decide on that ending for him?

LW | That was always the plan and we were going to take it a little slower if we had had more episodes. We were going to kind of move him along but I think it worked really nicely to have it be an epiphany in that moment. I just loved the idea of this kid changing his life so profoundly not just as a father, but as a person.

THR | One of the biggest surprises in the finale was that Bay and Emmett ended up not getting back together. How did you come to that decision?

LW | Bay and Emmett had true love, but it was first love and they went through a lot together as you do when you're young. Maybe it's just timing, maybe things would be different if she had met Emmett at 21 instead of Travis, but they couldn't shake all of the things that they'd been through. And secondly, the intention of the second-to-last episode, where Bay pushes Travis to tell his mother the truth about what happened was purely intended to really show that this couple is the real thing. They can weather these kinds of storms as adults, that's an adult relationship right there. Emmett was this lovely, romantic, who would do these big romantic things for her but Travis and she are going through hard stuff and getting through it.

The intention of the montage was really to honor Bay and Emmett for everyone, for me, not just for the fans. I love Bay and Emmett, they were a huge part of the series and it was a nod to anyone who's ever had a very intense first love that they thought they would end up with forever but they don't. When you see that person, it's incredibly powerful, and this is someone who helped define who you are as a human being for the rest of your life but you go your separate ways. I teared up working on that montage; to me it really takes you back to all of those moments with Bay and Emmett. I'm quite sure that there are diehard 'Bemmett' fans who will never forgive me and will always feel like it was a mistake but this is how Bay and Emmett and Travis evolved over the course of all the things that happened.

THR | Can you pinpoint a specific moment in the show where you shifted from having bay end up with Emmett to believing she should end up with Travis?

LW | Just following the truth of the characters and the baggage and just some realities of doing the show with Emmett being in LA and we had to throw Emmett into a bit of a tailspin and it would have been hard to get them back together. I do think there is a jerking around of the fans and the triangle that at some point has to stop. As a fan of my own shows, I don't like that either. You have to know when to let go of the triangle and to make a choice. I think fans get tired of that.

Someone else asked me if you had gotten 10 more episodes, do you think you would have gotten Bay and Emmett back together, and I don't think so. This felt right for where the characters ended up. The truth of the story is the past five seasons ended with Bay not being able to go back, she wanted to go forward. Which isn't to say that Emmett isn't a huge part of who she is. That will be a controversy I'm sure, but there's also a lot of diehard Bay and Travis fans. You're never going to win with everyone and we were quite aware of that.

THR | Regina also makes a big move when she moves out of the guest house and gets back together with Eric, even though he has to go to prison first. Why was this the right way to end her story?

LW | I was so pleased with that twist. Luca was lovely but they weren't really soul mates and Eric always felt like her second soul mate after Angelo. He came with this backstory, we couldn't un-bake that from who Eric was and why he appeared in her life the way he did so we had to send him off last season but everyone really wanted Eric to come back in some way and then we really felt like, 'Oh God, we backed them into a corner.' He has this past, he's committed this felony, he has to leave the country, I can't believe Regina would leave her two daughters and go to another country. That didn't feel right even though that was on the table. Then when we came up with this moment of this flashback where her mom says sometimes you have to do the hard thing to get to the right place. … It felt like a great parallel and a great metaphor to have her come up on her own with this solution. Tell Eric, "Do what you got to do, face the music and I will wait for you." And then of course the beauty of her becoming a mom again, to a boy for the first time, just felt so sweet and it felt like we were spinning her off into a new family.

THR | In the end, Daphne calls Katherine and John mom and dad, respectively. Why did you want to include that?

LW | That was in my back pocket. That's one of the few things that I always wanted to save for the series finale. I just felt like it would be a really big moment and I didn't want to slide it in casually. It's a big deal for Katherine. Katherine's a very traditional mom, her identity was a full-time mom for many years before she went back to work and I feel like she's always been secretly waiting for this moment and wanting it but never asking for it because she thought it would hurt Regina's feelings. It was just so powerful for her to hear it. I don't think Bay will ever call Regina mom. Their relationship always felt a little more aunt-niece, big sister-little sister; they just had a more complicated relationship. Regina's a little less traditional. … I just like the distinction between the girls that way.

THR | You had been tweeting a little while ago about wanting to possibly write characters from Switched at Birth into your next show but you weren’t sure about the legality of it. What is the possibility that we'll see Daphne or Bay or someone else from the SAB universe in the future?

LW | What I learned was it's a little more complicated. You can't really do that. Of course I can use the actors again and I fully intend to, but I thought it would be fun to have Daphne or Travis or Emmett pop up as a cousin to this other character I created and link the shows, but I don't think that's legal.

THR | Well, would you be open to revisiting these characters in some sort of revival down the line? Revivals had become such a big trend in recent years.

LW | If in ten years, it is a trend and the network or some network or all of us are interested, of course. We even joke about it now. It would be fun to revisit who everyone's going to be in 10 years, Bay and Daphne as 35-year-olds or even 30-year-olds is just fun to think about.

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eternallyboundfamily · 4 years ago

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Turmoil, written by @DarkLoverLost & @DiamondEyeDeit

Wrath:

Vishous:

*While sparring with the King, I started to think he wasn’t even trying. I was waitingfor him to give me everything he had and Nothing I wasn’t even breaking a sweat. * What is going on Wrath are you even trying? *I ask as he stepped aside. You’ve got to let me know what is going through your mind. After that female left the Audience House you haven’t been the same since.Your yelling at the brothers the citizens even LW has noticed. Your needing to take a break from the Audience House. We all cannot go on like this true? * Something is going on even before that female came along I knew he was just going through the paces. I hate to even think this but our King is losing his mind.*

Wrath:

She had barely left my thoughts since. I had heard her voice in my dreams. I wasn’t about to admit that to V, though. “I’m fine, V. It’s nothing. Same shit, different day is all. Let’s close down the Audience House for two weeks. Shift things around. Bring in Saxton, if needed, to discuss with me any urgent matters. Got it?”

Vishous:

Yes LW. You know he can talk now right? He’s come to me not long ago asking why Dad is so angry *I know there are other things going on in his head, He’s like a fucking valut keeps it locked up tight. Ever since Beth went unto the Fade he has been bitchy like a female but worse than before since that night at the Audience House.* So are we going to talk about that female? Why you were so short with her . Why her?. And Saxton can take care of all the shit being sent in. *I walk back to the middle and tell Wrath to work a little harder at trying to take me down.I know he can’t his head is all mixed up Maybe I can knock a little sense back into him.*

Wrath:

The female dominated my thoughts. I had gotten to the point where I had pretty much spent the past three days drinking myself to bed, in hopes that the alcohol would erase her. No such fucking luck. It just gave me more bizarre dreams about her and massive hangovers in the evening.

I seen his body tense up after being up that female at the house and him slamming me to the ground that was the last straw.* ok, that’s not sparing brother. You need to get your fucking head straight and if it has to do with LW or that damn female. Do something then else then drinking your damn black or taking it out on your brotherhood.

*I rip all my sparring gear off throw it on the floor stand there glaring at him with my arms crossed waiting for a response on what I said. And I couldn’t take the silence* I know you know your son can talk now you need to listen to him. To all of us. We all miss Beth because she was the only one that can talk damn sense in your thick skull. Now you need to listen to your own blood brother. We are all here. *tapping my temple even though I know he can’t see* I still see things in my mind brother.

Wrath:

Vishous:*I wouldn’t know what it’s like with losing my Shellan. I came close once. I wouldn’t want that pain. My Leelan is my world just like my brothers. I know he is in pain but, the race needs home and his son if this female is the cause of his craziness he’s got to stay clear of her.* I’ll hand her problems you need to go back to the audience house and go down to Darius rooms and get away Sire take LW with you if need be. I’ll get with #Saxton and take care of things.

*I don’t know if this will help. But I think I may need to talk to that female and keep her away. I know your in pain and I don’t know how I would feel if I lost my Shellan, I don’t know your pain but I did come close to losing her if you remember. I can’t stay out of your head your screaming.

Wrath:

Shaking my head, I respond, “If I’m taking some time away from the Audience House, it’s not going to be in its basement.” Thinking for a minute, I come up with a better plan. Well, maybe not really so much of a great plan, but one that a little more palatable than hanging out downstairs, in the Audience House, the one place I am trying to avoid. “I can hang out here, at the manse. I’ll take LW on a couple of excursions to… “ I began to think about it. Where was I going to take him to? Downtown Caldwell? In the middle of the night? Not! I could take him out to dinner, but how much fun was a young going to have at a restaurant that didn’t have an arcade in it? “I’ll think of something. But, I’m not going to spend my time off in the basement of the building I’m avoiding.”I begin to shrug off my training gear and kick it off to the side. “Do what you have to with Saxton. I need this time off, now. Not in a couple of weeks. If I have to sit through one more dispute over… what was it? A gaggle(?) of chickens, or whatever they called it… I just might throw my desk at someone.” Pushing my wraparounds up far enough to rub my eyes, I continue, “Make it happen, would ya?”

Vishous:

*Listening to what Wrath says I know what I can and can’t say enough to piss him off to get done what needs to be done, And him getting away needs to be done. I see something coming and I don’t want to stop it.* Yeah, I got Saxton, I know what I need to do Sire. *All I can do is nod when he says Thanks to me.* The next time you want to kick someones ass, call Hollywood. *I call behind him as he walks out. Our race is going to flourish again. I know it’s coming I can see it.*

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flootweed · 4 years ago

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I would like to apologize to anyone who has to encounter this wall of text 🙃

The hornbill is a bird yeah its from a convo in an earlier ep they mate for life and when one dies the other stay in the same area until it dies as well. It was incredibly obvious. I rlly love the atmosphere of atots and it actually made me cry which not many bls have been able to so far. Honestly if the show ends with him dying due to complications with his heart transplant (which I dont think will happen) it would be so boring, not nearly enough pizzazz. He already dies once like that he cant do it again.

Ep 6 of lw was probs my least favorite out of all of the eps so far but I still loved it bc of my chronic case of brainrot and the fact that tiffy is a canon queer. I will always be that 14 yr old baby gay who latches on to any queer coded pretty girl in tv shows. I didnt really have a problem with Gene’s reaction like some ppl did bc like. Same. But I just didnt get the emotional impact of it bc I already read some spoilers lol.

I would love to here more editing thoughts especially about the long ass scenes in lw. Sometimes they make sense but idk man lets speed things up. Like that part in ep 6 when sib was like “let me explain !!!!” and then was silent for 20 seconds. Wild. I love this stupid fucking show.

The only c drama ive seen in the untamed and I didnt find out that they dubbed over their voices until MONTHSSS after I watched it. I felt so shocked and betrayed lmao but I get why they do it.

GOD I KNOW. Mhok and Aey’s dad makes it seem like he murdered someone calling him evil and all that. I hope the writers don’t make him like the villain in tharntype (idk his name lol) because I feel like that would be too much. This show is already trying to juggle so many different plots I dont want anything super out of left field that will take control of the narrative ya know. His conflict with his family seems to center around money so maybe he stole something ?? idk. yay glad you like my theory !!

ah yes its like how I must begrudgingly accept that spoken word poetry is poetry even tho I rlly dont want to. never heard of best twins and it seems like i should keep it that way ??

ugh poli sci majors are just a bunch of ppl trying to sound smarter than each other with big stupid words .. like I am guilty of this too but only in papers and rarely irl. you also get the microaggressions from the white men that then get politely yelled at in front of everyone (this happened yesterday in my zoom class). thats mostly the ppl trying to become career politicans or lawyers tho. the research and activism focused babes (like me 🤩) are usually chill.

lol every since you mentioned hasan ive been getting his stuff recommended to me. thank you google for keeping such close tabs on me. ugh I have such a problem with that overthinking thing even online I think things over like 7 times before I type it out and then I still panic over it (its the mental illness). But frankly I think more white women need to be like me and learn how to shut the fuck up sometimes. (ew that sounds so self congratulatory). that thing about tankies is how I feel about white male leftists.. like I feel like some of those dudes are just leftists because they want to feel superior to others.

i regret to inform you i was not alive during y2k. (youre not old btw oh my god) yeah thats actually something ive been thinking over for a while .. like how not everything that makes you uncomfortable or triggered is problematic and an assault on your identity. like there are a lot of things that make me super uncomfortable due to the way I grew up and just who I am and shit and ive been working through thoughts about this for a couple months actually. luckily im not a super reactionary person online so ive never yelled at some stranger for saying something that triggers some childhood trauma but ive seen many other ppl so that kind of thing (again with the learning how to shut the fuck up thing). i feel like in leftist spaces especially you got a bunch of people who have probably gotten royally fucked over throughout their lives so ofc their gonna react to shit in dramatic ways when they feel attacked. idk we all just probably need therapists.

lol i actually work irl in the tourism industry which is soooo much fun. you’d be surprised about the amount of tourists that are visiting i hate america. school is fine tho im fucking lame and love learning its like the only thing im good at. also i vaguely remember scrolling past some lindsay ellis drama but honestly couldnt even tell you what it was about.

omgg 8 hours of sleep AND at a reasonable time im so proud !! its currently 4:30 am rn cant relate but im happy for you. i had a fat depressive episode this winter so ill probs be safe from burnout for like ... the next 3 months. im also super solitary so i feel you darling. like i know community and discussion is so so important but i just really cant do it sometimes (again its the mental illness)

yeah as an old gen z (gag) i am rlly concerned with some of these kids. like they have thousands of followers and are expected to make complex political arguments and they can never reach that level because they just dont know. which is fine we are all learning but activism has become so much of a performance that it makes it so hard to be wrong or even look at issues from multiple angles or have a slightly different view than what is expected of your ingroup. i never want to be one of those ppl who are like “social media bad !!” but like .. social media bad sometimes actually !! im so glad ive never had over like 200 followers and no one cares about what I say. I wont get you started on the ahistorical shit but I feel you (did I mention im also minoring in history lol)

omg nooo 23 yr old on unions... its okay we have all had those moments. i rlly like what you said about empathy and critical engagement with media but its very early in the morning and my brain just stopped working for a sec. anyway its really astounding that we are in an age where research is so fucking easy but no one fucking does it.

the specific thing i was referring to about wbl was how ppl were acting like shi de was being so ooc in season 2 completely ignoring how he manipulated multiple situations to get close to shu yi in season 1. hes always been a bit controlling but i think season 2 rlly fucking upped it for some fucking reason. honestly idk if i love or hate that show. (i do know i love shu yi tho). most of my issues with wbl spawn from it being too damn short. agree about the visuals tho im a slut for pretty visuals (related: have you watched color rush? it has some beautiful visual moments ��)

lol yeah crying is the only way I can determine if a thai actor is good or not. thus fluke natouch (uwma) is the best actor in existence. 2gether was actually the first bl ive ever watch lol and it was so odd for me at first bc i didnt know thai is a tonal language. I remember basically nothing from 2gether now but from my vague memories i dont think bright was terrible but who the hell knows.

as someone who frequents kpop stan twitter more than is healthy for my brain function some of those bitches are so outright with their anti-blackness and shit its insane. it always boggles my mind how people think koreans just dont know anything ?? (its infantilization !!) also yeah its very disheartening how any movement is compared to blm and GOD so much guilt tripping. like we need solidarity people this isnt a competition about whose issue is the worse and is getting the most retweets.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

i find the people who overanalyze interactions between actors/famous people to prove they are together so interesting. like sometimes i look at the content they produce in disbelief that people actually spend time trying to prove people who are strangers to them are dating. Wild. Its like watching a train wreck i love it. I could never seriously interact with those types of fans tho they are on a different level.

yeah basically its complex lol. (sorry my brain broke again)

on the progressive front I would appreciate more queer men getting roles but yeah women in bl usually just doesnt work. they are always giant bitches, fanatical shippers, one half of a shoehorned straight ship, or like a friend’s girlfriend. but then again I love tiffy (she isnt one half of a straight ship they’re both bi ive decided) so basically they have to do it right !! ending with lw love that. 😁

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this…

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet…or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is…at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so…rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering….the rustling….it’s like guys…please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that….like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like….actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like…for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like…be honest, question, etc but also like…approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy…we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that…..intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just….different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back….which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense…i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly………gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m…an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u…do…research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23…but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW…..what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like…..ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor….theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that….well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly….didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s……the wrong one…..(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no…maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well……….we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just…the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like…….believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho…still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

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